ugh

My parents have a habit of talking about uncomfortable topics when I'm stuck in the car with them.

For example, my Dad came home today and was driving me to work and thought it would be great to start talking about my brother and that situation, which left me in a shitty mood for work. Which is awful seeing as I work in retail/customer service. 

Speaking of work my manager that I trained with was on today and I hadn't seen her in ages and we got talkign and she commented on my hair (I recently dyed it) and said that I'm training on front desk next week, which is amazing as no-one else that started at the same time as me have yet!!! Yaaaay. After work I bought this pretty rad jacket that I absolutely ADORE and I organised a shit ton of music on my computer, I've been procrastinating it for months and I'm glad I've done it now.

But at the moment my body is aching so I'll end this here.

Until next time..
xx

Rant

This is going to be really short but I just kind of needed to vent about something. Okay, I have depression and have for the last four-five years, my parents have only known for about one and a half. They don't seem to understand how it affects a teenager going through the stresses of high school with undealt feelings towards things that happened five years ago that to this day still affect me.
So my brother came over today and things went better than expected. But whenever things are going well with the rest of my family I feel like shit and visa versa. So because all the problems with my brother were dealt with I'm sitting here becoming more and more closed of and quiet so when my brother finally leaves this is the conversation that follows (Mum in normal me in italics).
Was what I said okay? Did it go well? Yeah. What's wrong, you've gone all quiet? Nothing, I'm fine. No, seriously, tell me what's wrong? Does there have to be something wrong for me to be this way?
And then she sighed really loudly and walked off.
I never asked for this to happen. It just does. Don't go around blaming me, maybe you should actually try and help me and fucking try to understand what it's like to be like this.
It is the absolute worst and makes me feel guilty because everything's finally okay and I'm here feeling like absolute shit.
Ugh, rant = over.

Stressful events

Today was the last day of school for the term for two weeks and I convinced my Mum to let me have the day off. This is fantastic as I got to sleep in and read and bake and do things I haven't been able to do in a while. All in all it's been a really good day so far as Mum wasn't even home for most of it.
The reason I asked for the day off is because lots of things are happening right now in my life and I needed some relax time because when this happens I just close off and don't deal with it.
My brother moved out a few months ago and decided to not contact us at all since then, which is extremely worrying for my parents. He also had a fall out with his boss and no longer has a job. As he is only 18 and on his final few months of his apprenticeship this is an awful situation. My Dad is also in Indonesia at the moment (he travels all the time for his job) and is unable to help my Mum so that job falls to me. As a  depressed 16 yr old I cannot deal with that, but alas they can't see that so I have to deal with a crying mother and hearing the exact same thing repeated 100 times a day. To add to this my friend stayed over on tuesday and wednesday night which is fun but a hassle.
We got in contact with my brother yesterday and he should be coming over tonight but I really don't want to be in this house anymore, I can't deal with the stress.
Until next time..
(I'm trying to think of a cool name/sign off for myself)

Minor Introductions

Hello there.
So, as the beginning of the blog I feel as though I should actually tell you a few things about myself. I'm 16, live in Australia, I listen to music all the time, I read, watch basically every tv show and lots of movies. My dog's name is Lilly. I live with my Mum and my Dad. My older brother moved out a few months ago but is possibly moving in again, which I'm not too sure about.
My life has actually become something of unimportance and unhappiness as of late. Things are going in a cycle of good to great to horrible.
I feel as though that was the awkwardest thing ever so I'll leave that be and update tomorrow.
Goodnight my lovelies.